Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
