so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
