Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
