Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
