u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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