Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
