She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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