This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
