I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
