At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
