I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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