Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
