matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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