if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
