I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
