You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Randomize
