by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
