Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You need a sexual gate keeper
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
