Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
