You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
