Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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