"it" just moved
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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