...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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