Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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