What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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