I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My breasts were aching with rage.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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