Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
