She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I still have a little drunk in my system
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
