I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
