she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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