i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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