I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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