I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
