At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
