Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
