Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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