I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
