he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
