someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
