You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
