worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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