I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
