Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
