is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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