it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
third nipple confirmed
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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