The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
