loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
