is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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