I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
