take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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