I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
