your thong is hanging out like whoa
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
