ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
